sexta-feira, 12 de setembro de 2014

Family - freedom and limits

 Greetings and Opening prayerl


First: ask if they like the family they have reincarnated in. Remember that we choose our family, which is composed of people who can help us in our evolution in this incarnation. Talk about the blood and spiritual ties.
  •  Spiritual ties are real family ties that can be established between persons from the same blood or not. They reveal themselves by sympathy and communion of ideas; that is, by affection, common interests and the love they express to each other. The Spirits that reincarnate in the same family are often bound together by ties of affinity. That means they have spiritual bonds; beyond the bonds of the physical body. Anyone who has passed away, remains part of our spiritual family.
  • Corporeal ties exist between people who have the same blood; belong to the same corporeal family. We must strive to strengthen the ties of sympathy with our family members. Remind them that our parents gave us the physical body and that our Spirit (we) were created by God.

         It’s in the family that the bonds of love consolidate and extend; these ties have existed in other incarnations.


         Second: divide the class into pairs. Ask each pair should take a question from a box. Each pair will have 10 minutes to talk about the appropriate attitudes and what people often do in that situation/problem. The spiritist teacher can assist in the interpretation of the questions or by asking questions related to the theme, if the pairs are finding it difficult. Each pair will also tell the positive feeling that can be used to better resolve the issue/problem. Ex: forgiveness, patience, respect, friendship, love, etc.


         Here are the situations / problems that we used:


         a) My father and mother are separated. I would love for them to return to live together, but they have another boy/girlfriend; wife/husband. What should I do?

         b) My family is a mess, they fight all the time. I want to disappear sometimes. Is this really a good attitude?

         c) I love my parents a lot, but sometimes I get angry with them. Should I feel guilty? 

         d) I live with my mother and stepfather. I don’t like him, because I think he wants to replace my father. But once my mother scolded me because of something silly and he defended me; because he knew I was right.


         e) My best friend got a gorgeous tennis shoe. I asked my mother for the same pair of trainers, but she said it was too expensive and could not afford it. I was furious, cried, screamed and fought with my mother. I later realized she was crying because of me. What could I have done to avoid this? 

         f) My parents force me to go on to spiritist education classes. I'd like to stay asleep at home, so I am in a bad mood when we arrive at the Spiritist Group. What is the best approach to improve the situation?

         g) My parents love to interfere in the movies I watch and games I want to play because they don’t want me to watch horror movies and/or play violent games. Are they right?



         h) Yesterday I broke my mother’s vase, but she didn’t see it and thought it was my brother, who was grounded because of the broken vessel. What should I do?

         i) Sometimes I think my family is boring! I always think my best friends’ family is better. Why does this happen?

         Here are the situations/problems with suggestions of aspects that can be addressed by the spiritist teachers. Remember that, wherever possible, we must not leave children without answers. It’s also important to make the most of their doubts so they can think about their attitudes and their relatives; by assisting them in their difficulties.




         a) My father and mother are separated. I would love for them to return to live together, but they have another boy/girlfriend; wife/husband. What should I do?
         The best thing is to accept and respect the new boy/girlfriend, wife/husband; making efforts to build a good relationship. Remember that the fact that the parents split up doesn’t mean they don’t like more (or no longer enjoy) their children anymore. Parents split up because they were unhappy together. It’s better to live separate, preferably as friends, than together and fighting.

         b) My family is a mess, they fight all the time. I want to disappear sometimes. Is this really a good attitude?
         All families have difficulties; some have more, some less conflictive situations. We can do our part as children, trying not to fight (or fight less). Running away doesn’t solve, because we are the right family to learn and evolve. If we run away, our parents will be worried and looking for us. We’ll become more of a problem to them; plus, we’ll be punished when found. Surely talking or meeting our family members is the best way to resolve conflicts.

         c) I love my parents a lot, but sometimes I get angry with them. Should I feel guilty?
         The attitudes of our parents often arise negative feelings in u; we can cite as an example when they forbid us something we really want; like going to a party or staying up all night on the computer. We must remember at those times that what they decide is always for our good, because they love us so much. Therefore we must strive to overcome these feelings and if guilt appears, the best thing to do is to ask for forgiveness. We’ll realize overtime that our parents’ decision was the best for us at that time. 

         d) I live with my mother and stepfather. I don’t like him, because I think he wants to replace my father. But once my mother scolded me because of something silly and he defended me; because he knew I was right.
         My mom’s new boyfriend (husband) will not replace the father in the family. It’s important to show respect and friendship for him, for good family living. When someone decides to date (live) with a person who already has children, it’s a sign that she/he is willing to accept and enjoy the whole family. Problems will occur, but with dialogue and good will it’s possible to live in peace and harmony.

         e) My best friend got a gorgeous tennis shoe. I asked my mother for the same pair of trainers, but she said it was too expensive and could not afford it. I was furious, cried, screamed and fought with my mother. I later realized she was crying because of me. What could I have done to avoid this? 
         Understand that sometimes parents can’t buy what we want. If you were really in need of a pair of trainers, a cheaper model could be bought. Understand that our parents work hard to have money to buy things and pay the bills. And that just as our weekly allowance is not enough to buy everything that we want, their wages are often not enough. 

         f) My parents force me to go on to spiritist education classes. I'd like to stay asleep at home, so I am in a bad mood when we arrive at the Spiritist Group. What is the best approach to improve the situation?
         The mood won’t change the situation; only make it more difficult to live with. Our parents know what is best for us so they want us to learn important things at spiritist education classes. The lessons we learned as young people at spiritist education classes will be useful when we are adults and problems arise.

         g) My parents love to interfere in the movies I watch and games I want to play because they don’t want me to watch horror movies and/or play violent games. Are they right?
         Parents show with these attitudes that they don’t want their children engaging in heavy vibrations, which can hurt them. Many children feel scared and loose sleep after watching violent and horror movies. Parents often are not sure if their children know how to separate fiction from reality and fear they’ll grow up thinking that shooting and killing is ‘normal’ and fun.

      
h) Yesterday I broke my mother’s vase, but she didn’t see it and thought it was my brother, who was grounded because of the broken vessel. What should I do?

Tell the truth, admit it and apologize for what happened. It’s not fair or right that someone else pay for our mistakes.


i) Sometimes I think my family is boring! I always think my best friends’ family is better. Why does this happen?

Families have relationships problems sometimes. If parents forbid some things and put limits is because they love their children and want the best for them. It's a mistake to think that our friends’ family never has problems, because when we visited a friend can’t perceive the reality in that home. If we strive to live without fighting not complaining, we’ll start to see our family with a different perspective. We chose the family that offers us the best conditions to learn what we need in this reincarnation.



Third: get the children to sit in a circle. Each pair reads the situation they studied and suggests attitudes/solutions. As soon as each pair explains the situation, the spiritist teacher can ask others if they would like to add or explain a different opinion on the subject. The spiritist teacher can ask more questions or add additional to their answers, if necessary. It’s important for children to participate and feel free to talk about their difficulties.

Closing Prayer


Translation: Carolina von Scharten, London, linked to BUSS - The British Union of Spiritist Societies.


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